Category: Our Team

Corporal Dumpling joined Laser Dot Supply as a stock handler in 2023 and rose to Warehouse Manager in less than a year by sitting on a box until it was agreed that he was in charge. He oversees 14,000 square feet of storage and has personally inspected every one of the boxes.

His management style is simple. He walks the floor at 6, checks every shelf, sits in the middle of the aisle and does not move. Staff find it intimidating and, over time, restful.

When asked about his goals for the year, Corporal Dumpling closed his eyes. This was taken as a declaration of intent.

We sat down with Chief Engineer Sparky Tailsworth to discuss the Dot Engine Pro. Q: What was the biggest design challenge? A: Making the dot feel alive without actually giving it a mind. We came close. Test 14 gave it an attitude.

Q: How do you test for evasiveness? A: We hold the pointer in one paw and the engineers in the other. If both are confused, the dot is working.

Q: What is next? A: A dot with a mind of its own. The board has asked us to reconsider this. We are reconsidering it, at a distance, from behind a door.

Lieutenant Pickles has served as Watch Officer at Laser Dot Supply since the day we opened. A seven year old grey tabby with a service record of 3,200 dawn patrols, she handles all customer enquiries, supervises every shipment and has never once been on time.

Her duties include monitoring the front door, inspecting incoming parcels for smell and deciding whether the next person through the door is a threat. She has assessed 47,000 people to date, and graded 46,998 as acceptable.

The remaining two were a courier and a vacuum cleaner. The Lieutenant has opinions on both.